Holiday seasons are generally joyous. Regardless of how commercialized they have become; we celebrate traditions with friends and family. For those who have lost loved ones or are apart from their loved ones for the holidays, it becomes more difficult to cultivate joy.
This year I happen to be away from my immediate family and traditions in a different country, spending time with extended family. It has given me time to reflect on what holiday traditions have meant to me all these years and the significance I have placed on them. Thıs year I need to adjust to the change in routine and the annual tradition. Yet, it has given me a chance to make a new tradition. With my cousin whom I had not seen in years. We have reminisced about our childhood and family traditions and how the details don`t seem as important as long as we can spend the time together. For the first time in over 4 decades, I did not have a traditional American Thanksgiving, and most likely will not have a traditional Christmas with my immediate family. Normally that would cause some grief. Similar to when I lost my parents and sister a few years back and had to really adapt to celebrations in a new way. It was hard at first, but gradually we made new traditions, while keeping their memory alive.
This year, I realized that it wasn’t the act of cooking a Turkey or buying presents and decorations that was most important. Even though I really enjoyed all of that. But it was the actual feeling of gratitude to be alive, and loving my family and friends and feeling loved that was the nugget.
The events of the last few months worldwide, from disruptions and destruction of weather anomalies, to acts of aggression and war, should have been a wakeup call to humanity to realize the fragility of life and what to give their attention to.
The tremendous weight of grief associated with such heavy loss endured by so many can be an unimaginable burden. But for those left behind ın the aftermath, choosing to cultivate peace and joy is the way through. Honoring the life given to each of us to live in the best way possible is the choice we need to make every day, while learning to navigate the new road laid before us.
Making new rituals, without getting attached to things and traditions, and really taking in all life has to offer on this new road, with gratitude, is what I am choosing now. Just like a snake sheds its skin to grow a new one, without lamenting the loss of its old skin, I am learning to move with my waves of grief, without getting attached to each wave. It is a liberating experience.
Being in nature has been the antidote to feeling overwhelmed when the weight of life and world events becomes hard to bear. Living one day at a time, and as the Serenity Prayer conveys, knowing the difference between what I can change and what I have no control over, is what I am striving for now. And for that I am grateful.
May you revel in the wonders of life in this holiday season.
Your fellow traveler
Shabnam